The primary function of the Inner Critic (which if you’ve ever been stuck in its grip you know it takes quite seriously!) is this:
To keep you from changing
This explains why it can show up strongly in moments or seasons of transition and growth, when you are on your way to something that is really for you. The main reason our Inner Critics don’t want us to change is because for the Inner Critic what is known is always safer than what is unknown.
A Little Background on Inner Critics:
They develop when we are young, when often we needed them to make it in life, to gain the approval of our caregivers and learn how to operate within society. They were and are well intentioned — they want to keep us safe, they want us to “be appropriate”. Yet, they operate and abide by the rules of the past quite strictly.
Inner Critics are absolutely terrible about tuning into the present moment and what might be good and true for you now.
While rooted in the past, they tend to throw out big concerns about the future as well, usually sternly noting that the safest way to proceed is to “maintain the status quo”, “do what you were told/taught”, “what is expected of you” or perhaps even, “you’ll never be good enough for that so don’t even think about it.” Inner Critics want you to maintain contact with history, security, culture and the past because those were the conditions where it was most safe (or perhaps where its outdated warnings were most relevant and at the time probably did keep you safe, help you gain approval and fit in).
Perhaps you’re starting to see Inner Critics aren’t the most rational creatures. Rational or not, they are very convincing and very good at making you believe that what they are telling you is absolutely the truth.
I can empathize with the Inner Critic as I want to be safe, secure and accepted as well, but we MUST remember that the Inner Critic's strategy and voice is seldom the one we want guiding us. It will act as a giant stop sign and booby trap and keep us stuck.
Also remember: The security the Inner Critic fights for at all costs is often, if not always, an illusion. Perhaps most importantly to note is this:
In the face of the Inner Critic’s harshest warnings, we lose our creativity and ability to be and become what we’re meant to.
Inner Critics are masters at suppressing our energy so we can’t access our creativity and aliveness. Sometimes they are so constant, either quietly in the background or loudly in the forefront, that we identify with them completely. I.e. Their voice is our voice.
If I could urge you to start to practice one thing it would be this: Notice when your Inner Critic is “speaking” or “thinking” and note “Oh, that’s my Inner Critic talking”. When you are able to observe your Inner Critic you are separating yourself from it. This is crucial because as you become aware of and separate yourself from the Inner Critic, you are creating the awareness that it is NOT you.
