“What have you done? How are you going to get all of this to work? Are you really going to make it?” said my most critical inner voices.
Week by week these voices were getting louder and fear and panic were settling in more deeply. Luckily, before they took over completely, I stumbled upon or rather, recognized anew my own deep need for playfulness and how very useful it is in getting through stuck, scary, uncertain places.
I had made a number of big life leaps all at once and as you may be able to guess, big life leaps can be prime territory for fear and inner critics to rear their heads. It was in this doubting and unsettling place that I realized I had completely lost one of my most prized characteristics: PLAYFULNESS.
Interestingly, though the fear and inner critics didn’t want to admit it, THIS was also simultaneously true: For the first time in a long time, I was feeling deeply compelled by my work – though too crippled by the inner critics to make bold moves in moving it forward.
One thing I know about myself is that my playful spirit allows me to try things. It allows me to say to the critical voice in my head, “Hey, no pressure here. Let’s give this new idea a try and see what happens.” That attitude helps me put myself out there, take risks and not take myself so seriously. It also very much contributes to enjoying the process of things versus freaking out minute by minute that “nothing is happening and things aren’t working.”
Without playfulness, I’m doomed.
So it was, after some months in the “pit of fear” and the tyranny of my inner critics that I decided to choose playfulness over fear and committed this to myself: BE PLAYFUL. KEEP TRYING STUFF. THERE’S SOMETHING HERE THAT’S WORTH IT.
It was and continues to be a very important shift. My playful spirit and I began anew and simultaneously with my attention on being playful and with daily questions to myself like, “Did I let myself be playful today?” and “Did I let myself feel the lightness of the immense privilege it is to do any of this in the first place?” that I began to notice all sorts of references on the topic of playfulness. Some of them matched my experience and others offered even further insight on what playfulness has to offer us. Here’s my compilation of playfulness’ greatest virtues and some further commentary on a few that I’m finding most interesting and relevant:
Playfulness lets us lean into curiosity instead of judgement (towards ourselves and others).
Playfulness assists in discovery and innovation.
Kids are naturally curious and playful; We are all born playful!
Playfulness helps us persist in meaningful, challenging endeavors.
Playfulness helps us move forward and through scary and ambiguous places. This one is better stated by Sarah Lewis: “Playfulness helps us navigate enormous uncertainty.”
Uncomfortable Edges
In her book The Rise which is focused on mastery and redefining how we look at failure Sarah Lewis offers that often coming to the end of all we know, to a place that may look and feel like failure is actually the moment when we are really getting somewhere, where truly innovative ideas and breakthroughs happen or begin to happen.
These edges exist in our personal, professional and organizational lives and there is no way around them as they are essential for meaningful growth and progress, but they usually do not feel good (I can attest to this personally as can my clients!) These edges can feel like utter failure and moving through these spaces requires PLAYFULNESS. I’ll add here that a coach can be really useful when navigating these times!
Playfulness, Creativity & Innovation
“You’ll find the future wherever people are having the most fun.” - Steven Johnson
If there’s one thing that’s true about this world we live in it is that there is uncertainty everywhere we look. This globe of ours has some pretty big challenges to figure out and the solutions we need for those challenges are unknown. Playfulness can help with this as one of its greatest gifts is its creative power- that is the kind of creativity that leads to discovery and innovation.
There are countless examples of this throughout scientific history. This video gives a brief history of how the origin of the computer can be traced back to people who made a wooden flute (because it was fun!) Albert Einstein is infamous for his playful approach that incorporated daydreaming, playing music and combinatory play into his process. You’ve heard the stories of countless other products developed by accident while playing or experimenting, things like microwaves, Post-It notes, x-rays and Penicillin. I could go on and on with examples here, but Mr. Einstein sums of the point here: “I never came upon any of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.”
We Are All Born Playful
Natural curiosity and playfulness are present in infants and children. Kids play and explore and discover purely for the sake of doing so, without a particular purpose or strategy in mind. Somehow in life many of us abandon or unlearn our natural tendencies towards playfulness and “The perspective altering gift of play remains associated with children. People see it as the opposite of work as something childlike.” We’ve got to undo play only being for kids, so that we can incorporate it into our daily work and lives. It has too much to offer us not to.
On Choosing To Be Playful
I’d like to say that my shift towards playfulness was made one day and then permanently and perfectly implemented thereafter. However, like so many things, while the initial awareness of how much I needed it (and that I’d lost it!) combined with the decision to lean into it was important the unfolding of that commitment has been at times easier than others.
What I can say is happening on a very regular basis is the noticing of when I’m not being playful. That is, when I’m being super self-critical, judgmental of someone else and/or avoiding something I’ve been thoughtful about and want to do but don’t know what outcome it will get me. In these moments it’s becoming easier to catch myself and remember that I can choose the playful approach instead. This begs the question: What exactly does this playful approach look like?
Let me preface the answer to that question with this: There’s no right or wrong way to play or be playful. My way of being playful will probably be different than yours just as what sounds fun to you might not sound so fun to me. That said, I’ll share with you as tangibly as I can a few specific ways that choosing playfulness has been playing out for me.
I visit my next door neighbor. She is a delightful 94 year old woman and though we don’t speak the same language she always welcomes a visit from me. There’s not a lot of purpose (one of the definitions of play) in our visits but they usually force presence, laughter and playfulness.
I get moving and preferably outside! For me half the battle towards being playful is not thinking so much all the time and the best way for me to get my brain loosened up is to go for a walk or run or yoga class. The occasional living room dance party will also do the trick.
Making sure there are atleast a few things on my daily to do list that I know I will enjoy – reading for 30 minutes has been checking this box lately.
Letting myself try (and by try I mean actually implement) ideas that sound fun even if they don’t make complete strategic business sense.
This last one has probably been the most useful one for me: NOTICING when my brain is on overdrive in pursuit of results and perfection. In these moments it has been helpful to ask myself these questions (and dream up a different approach on the spot or take a break if I’m too trapped in analysis) —
“How can playfulness help me right now? What would I do differently or what would be different right now if I was being playful?”
If you have your own helpful questions or habits when it comes to remembering playfulness, I’d love to hear what they are. Wishing us all a more playful experience!
This OH SO PLAYFUL illustration is by Alizée Castel. And, if you’re interested in more on the topic of playfulness, this collection of TED Talks on the importance of play is quite fun. My favorite is the one about Improv Everywhere - Talk about playful!