Last week was the Fall Equinox and to celebrate the changing of seasons I ran into the Atlantic Ocean with a small group of new friends (an expat life success to have people in my life to be that kind of spontaneous with!) We met at the beach at 9AM. We sat together and read a few poems out loud and shared our answers to these questions:
What are you letting go of? And, What will you embrace?
Then, we RAN into the ocean. The water was cold, though not as cold as expected and the waves which seemed calm were much stronger and wild than they looked. A few times they took our breath and knocked us over – appropriate for 2020.
We imagined leaving behind in the water the thing we wanted to let go of and then running towards the thing we want to embrace this next season as we ran out. A nice ritual to start these last 3 months of this year and mark the natural rhythm of the changing of seasons.
In one way or another the topic of transition and the changing of seasons comes up frequently in my work coaching people. So very often, something in a person’s life is ending and something new is beginning OR lately what I’ve noticed is that people are becoming something new:
Being brave enough to live more completely as themselves
Finding courage and focus to develop traits like Empathy or Diligence
Trusting one’s self to take a next step in the midst of uncertainty.
While coaching people in these shifts and journey’s they often end up creating for themselves some sort of ritual. Most often it’s a “letting go” sort of ritual so that they can create some space and freedom for what’s next.
It’s because of this pattern I’ve noticed of people needing a ritual to help them move forward that I’ve become increasingly curious about ritual — knowing that in Western culture we don’t have nearly the breadth and depth of rituals to support us through life as other cultures and traditions do. (I anticipate a long journey ahead of reading and learning about history and the roots of different ancient rituals and rites of passage.)
That said, the first book I picked up had more of a focus on the modern than the ancient. I read The Power of Ritual by Casper Ter Kuile and was captured by the countless examples of finding meaning and creating ritual in the things we’re already doing and to “feel permission to be creative in combining the ancient and the emergent.”
As I read, it became clear to me that literally anything can be a meaningful ritual if we put some intention behind it. That and, our lives, cultures and nature already contain and are offering us so many things we can deepen and find meaning in.
For me, the changing of seasons felt like a place to start. I found myself declaring, “ I want to be a person who marks and honors the changing of seasons! ” Casper Ter Kuile notes that rituals at their best are connecting to us to one, more or all of the following: Self, Others, Nature and Transcendence. For me, with an intentional invitation to others to join me, my ocean jump touched on all 4 of those and was a solid reminder of the rhythm and power of the natural world that I’m part of and connected to and yet often have to remind myself to be present to.
Coincidentally this idea of being present to change and transition aligns perfectly with the place I often meet people in coaching. John O’Donohue puts it well, “If we approach our decisive thresholds with reverence and attention, the crossing will bring us more than we could have ever hope for.” Add to that this from Casper Ter Kuile’s book, “No longer are threshold moments a time for fear. Transitions become the way in which our lives find rhythm, depth and meaning” and I feel like one of my main hopes for myself and for those I work with in Transition has been well captured.
With the arrival of Fall and amidst everything going on right now – and I know it is A LOT…