“What are you willing to try or experiment with as a next step?”
I hear myself asking this question at the end of many coaching sessions.
Though subtle, I often notice that there is a little discomfort in both the choosing and the commitment of something new to try.
Somewhere along the way, in large part due to the systems we’re part of, we’ve traded in playful experimentation with the pressure of perfection, success, getting it “right” and ensuring we can keep our commitment. It seems we don’t want to let ourselves or anyone else down.
It’s true that there can be a lot of momentum built in committing to small, simple and certain next steps (I’m a fan of those too!)
AND, there are also times, when we’re stepping into new territory (or when the territory around us is so uncertain), that what is most needed is committing to an experiment. To try something that’s on our edge --- something big enough or simply new enough that we can neither guarantee the outcome nor that we’ll get every piece of it exactly right.
That discomfort in trying, that fear of not getting it exactly right, will definitely put your Inner Critic on high alert and it might even pull out all the very convincing reasons why you should not take a single step forward.
I do empathize with these stubborn and convincing Inner Critics because usually their fear stems from a place of wanting you to be safe, secure and accepted. While that sounds nice, we MUST remember that the Inner Critic's strategy and voice is seldom the one we want guiding us...
So, the questions are:
What in your life needs change (big or small, something new or something you’ve been considering for awhile)?
What are you willing to try or experiment with as a brave next step?”
And, how will you give yourself permission to commit to truly experimenting, taking the step and then seeing what happens?
Your experiment doesn’t have to “work” (though it might!) and as cliché as it sounds you’ll learn and move toward what you want much more by experimenting than you will staying where you are.
*The image is from my daughter’s first time painting last summer when she was about 1.5 years old. Isn’t it beautiful? I remember watching her experiment with holding the brush for the first time. Spontaneously, without much control she’d put paint on paper and I remember feeling envious – of that lack of control or need for it to turn out a certain way.